Home again! All is well with Lucy - her foot is back to normal and we are just giving her some oral antibiotics. Back on the programme of clinic visits to monitor Lucy's bloods as they fall after having the chemo. Hopefully no more fevers and a bit more time at home.

Feeling overwhelmed by kindness at the moment - today we had lovely people mow the crazy lawn for us and weed our front garden! Also, a few weeks ago we were told of a proposed increase to our rent (no, not so kind...). I wrote to ask for a slightly smaller increase due to our circumstances, and today we were advised that the landlord has refused our request (also not so kind.). But, someone at the Real Estate Agent (we can only guess that it's the owner, but maybe not) who heard of the property manager's turmoil at having to break the news to us has incredibly kindly offered to cover the different between what we offered to pay and what the landlord is demanding for 6 months!!! That is really quite stunning, especially as the proposed increase is actually greater than what we were originally advised!!

I often stress about the house thing, and the thought of having to move right now sends me into a spin. We can't afford to buy a house anywhere around here, but we cannot contemplate moving away - now more than ever. We are so thankful for this kindness shown by someone who we have never even met. Jaw droppingly stunning as I said before! Still can't quite believe it.

Must go to bed after a long day, visiting the clinic tomorrow with Jasmine and Madeline in tow. They love going to 'hospital care' which is child care at the hospital for siblings, run by gorgeous volunteers, and it's nice to involve them in the process and to stay kind of together for the day.

What do you do?

Despite the beautiful sunshine today I can't help but feel quite sad.

Lucy is doing a lot better - her fevers have subsided and the sore foot, though still a little swollen, is much improved. This is all great news, but yet I find myself being forced once again to confront the reality of where we are, and it's not nice.

I found out last night that two children whose parents I have met whilst being in hospital have died recently. Whilst we don't hold fears for Lucy's life at present - she is doing as well as can be hoped or expected, and the doctors are aiming for complete recovery, it is an awful reminder of the reality of life and death here in the oncology ward and the precariousness of life.

I feel so sad for those families, and have spent a lot of time today just wondering what you do if your child dies. What do you do when you go home? What do you do after the funeral? Really, what do you do?

I may never see those parents again, but I so pray that they would know God's kindness even in their grief, that they would know of the hope that he freely offers to us all, of his grace and mercy demonstrated in the cross of Jesus and the victory over death he has won in Jesus' resurrection.

I feel such a burden for all the families in here, and yet so inadequate and at a loss to know how to care for them. But I can pray, and I can talk, and as God gives me opportunity and energy hopefully I can share our hope and faith with others. Please pray with me for all the families here - for healing, for hope and for peace with God. And pray for the wonderful chaplains here at the hospital - they have a couple dedicated to the oncology ward, funded through Anglicare. Such a wonderful and essential ministry, yet very stressful and hard for those involved, so please pray God would sustain them in their work and faith.

Fevers and a swollen foot!

Well it's been a bit of a wobbly beginning.

We got in last night and at about 9pm Lucy woke up quite distressed. She then spent most of the night (on and off) trying to fill her nappy and was obviously quite uncomfortable, and then when she woke in the morning and finally succeeded, she went on to develop a fever of 39. She's been quite sad and very sleepy, not wanting to eat or drink at all really.

She has been started on some antibiotics and given panadol which has brought her temperature down. She also has a strangely swollen right foot! It may have been caused by some mosquito bites that have been aggravated with the chemo, but we're hoping that the antibiotics will take care of whatever it is.

She perked up a bit after the panadol and a tiny bit of food, but is back asleep again now. Hopefully this will be shortlived, and as her neutrophils are currently 5.0 (!) she is not so vulnerable to infections. Of course this round of chemo will change that, but hopefully for the moment her immune system will help us out too. Emma was sick with a bit of a fever yesterday (as was half her class apparently) so maybe she's just got whatever Emma had.

I was starting to feel a bit wobbly myself with Lucy so sad and in obvious pain. I don't think I've felt like that since Lucy got her first fever after the very first round of chemo. A big reminder that we just don't know how each round of chemo will affect her, and of how little and vulnerable she is. I'm very grateful to have had a visit this morning from the wonderful Alison K. I feel so much calmer when there is someone else with me through the bumpy bits. And thanks too to Mum who came with us yesterday when we were admitted. My back thanks you for all the carrying you did for us!

Please pray we'd keep trusting God with Lucy and our whole family every step of the way. And thanks that his mercies are new every morning.

We're in!

Well we've finally made it into hospital and Lucy's fourth round of chemo has started. We have even been fortunate enough to get our own room! I think one of the lovely nurses in the clinic realised how sore my back is and pulled some strings to get us a single room. How nice is that?! Anyway, it's been a long day and I'm weary so will go to bed very soon. I've got some nurofen plus to help me through! Thanks for your thoughts and prayers - please pray Lucy tolerates this round of chemo as well as she has coped with the earlier ones. Emma went home sick today, so please also keep the other girls and Adam in your prayers.

AAAAaaaaaargh! Still no beds!

No beds!

No beds available!! We are still at home waiting on a bed at the hospital so that Lucy can have her next round of chemo. A bit frustrating, especially as we have got everything planned for the other kids for the week. Hopefully tomorrow we'll get a bed, but no guarantees.

We had a lovely weekend though - we even got to walk to water on Saturday! Didn't get too soggy, and it was a good time together. Even Jasmine walked the whole way (about 5kms) without complaint. This was no doubt mostly due to the fact she was holding Renee S's hand the whole way - thanks Renee!! Our girls just love you!!! Needless to say, they were exhausted come Saturday night. Adam and I had a great night out on Saturday together at a yummy Malaysian restaurant in Lane Cove. After church on Sunday we had a lazy afternoon with a viewing of the current favourite movie The Sound of Music and a whole lot of washing in prep for the week and to take advantage of the gale that was blowing across Sydney.

Will update when we get to the hospital!

Dummies and Walking to Water

Not such a flattering picture but I thought it was amusing!

Hi there, still home, still ok. Lucy's been a bit grumpy this week, but is currently having a sleep so not so bad. No fevers though so still at home. She has stopped waking at night which is good, and it seems she's not in so much discomfort.

The biggest change in our house in the last few days has been the disposal of Madeline's dummies. Since she was tiny Madeline has loved her dummies - not just one, but multiple dummies when in bed to be sucked, held between fingers and held touching her nose. Over the last little while she's been waking us up semi-regularly when she can't find one in the night. Sorry, not can't find one, can't find ALL of them!! Very frustrating. She's also been doing a whole lot of pushing and hitting (mostly of Jasmine) and speaking rudely. The only threat that has worked has been loss of dummies.

As of Tuesday she had 2 left after having to throw several in the bin due to infractions. After several nights waking us, I promised that if she did it again those 2 would go in the bin. Sadly (for Madeline) she woke us again, and as promised she had to throw the dummies in the bin. Last night was our first sans dummies, and it was a dream! After a few initial tears, she went off to sleep and we weren't woken up at all! Success! Today at rest time she still wanted them, but calmed down much more easily and quickly.

My back is still quite sore, so your prayers would be appreciated as we head into another week at the hospital next week. I'm also trying to get back into reading the Bible and praying at night which is going ok - I've done it a few times now, back reading 2 Corinthians which I dropped a while back.

Adam is also tired, so please pray for him and all of us. We're half way through Lucy's treatment which some days feels like a good thing and that we've come a long way, and others feels like we're not at the beginning and nowhere near the end.

We are planning to do the Walk to Water with our church tomorrow where we will walk from Cammeray to Balmoral - hopefully it wont be pouring with rain! Walk to Water is an international event put on in partnership with Open Doors to raise funds for Christian communities around the world. Last year about 150 people from Cammeray and Naremburn walked to raise around $3000 to put wells in Christian communities in Nigeria. This year Open Doors are hoping to assist a community in Ethiopia by providing water pumps for crops, generators to produce electricity for 250 households and classrooms for a school at Maychew. We would really like to walk so pray the rain holds off!!

And most exciting is the prospect of a night out with Adam thanks to a kind offer of babysitting! Not sure where yet, at this stage anywhere will be good!

Hope you have a good weekend too, love Liz